User Profile

The new justice: You can friend me until you're blue in the face. You're not going to get friended back unless
A) you comment in the journal
B) you have something interesting*, progressive*, or rebellious* to say.

And if you know anything, you can probably deduce that those are *relative* asterisks.

----I'm a big weird person. I suppose you could call me an artist. I'm into dance at the moment, but I've been trying to figure out the puzzle that is life for the past...6 years or so. I suppose I'm doing alright. But I don't always feel that way. I'm so lost and alone! Come here my dear, emphasize my connnection to the world. Make me feel whole again. Take off your clothes.

::laughs::

I'm trying to find myself in a world that sees my behavior as deviant and 'not quite right'. I'm trying to understand self-destruction, self-construcution, and balancing these two ideas in order to recreate my mind. It's not for everyone. But it's for me. I'm just beginning to understand this, or believe that I do. And I'm looking for more people who feel this way, so that when I feel frightened and alone, I don't have to turn to people who are freaked out by it.----

That's how I felt a few years ago. I may not be...what I hope to one day become, but I can say with surety that I'm bigger and badder, even if the physical aspect is the only part that people can see. I hunger for knowledge that I can use, and in some ways, I've reverted back to an earlier, younger version of myself...just with the wisdom and skills that I have now. Which, I suppose is what a lot of people want, and what I often said I wanted. So, mentally, and emotionally, I don't just suck either. Maybe I'm not great yet, but I sure don't suck. And it actually feels pretty good to say that. Pretty soon, what do you know, I might even be saying it to other people. It is a good time and place, especially at the moment. But to be on top, clawing my way higher. It may not be easy, and it's oftentimes horrible but it's quite a bit more satisfying than lying at the bottom of the pile, complaining about the weight.

----

How long ago was that? More recently than not, so hopefully I'm gaining speed. Of course, it could all fall apart in a matter of moments, so I'm not exactly sweating it. But I'm going, going, going. I want to be a betta human, soon I'll be a meta-human, and I'll be of some use.
Until then, I'll just keep ramblin' friends. And I'll try and direct it in a way that is towards my emotions, and towards what I believe to be the right course of action.

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